It's okay to not be okay

A Black man was lynched this week! Did you read me? A Black man was lynched! It’s all over. All over? Yes, all over social media platform and every mainstream and local news outlet. They kill us and then they force us to watch our death.

“How do you feel?” A white co-worker of mine asked after they caught wind of the trending topic; another unarmed Black man killed by a white police officer.

How do I feel? I was shocked that I was even asked that question. So, I didn’t answer. I sat in silence, shrugged my shoulders, and noted that I felt numb. I literally had no words and no feelings. Just numbness. And to be honest, I haven’t had any words or any feelings lately. I have been avoiding looking at any videos, reading any post, and speaking of any situations that are violent towards Black people because it hurts too much to see. It hurts too f*cking much!

Talk about mental health and trying to preserve it in a world that is constantly at our throats. Yet, we still are required to show up in our daily lives.  Our bodies are silently consuming all the rage that will enormously pour out. We feel angry and resentful. We feel hurt. We feel sad. We feel helpless. We feel anxious. We feel tired and defeated. We are being re- traumatized over and over and over. I feel for my community who are experiencing these feelings and especially feel for those who have yet to develop how to process this pain. I am with you, I see you, and you are not alone.

As I bring myself up to date on the current unfortunate losses of my brothers and sisters who were murdered…as I sit in disgust as I watch petty “Karens” around the nation use their entitlement and privilege, I am obligated to remind you to protect your peace and mental health suggesting the following encouraging tips:

1.     Allow yourself to feel.

It is healthy to tap into your emotions and feelings. Suppressing your feelings about what is going on can only cause internal damage to the mind, body, and spirit.

2.     Be mindful of what and how much you consume.

It is unhealthy and traumatic to constantly watch our loved ones being murdered, with follow up commentary from folk trying to justify their deaths.

3.     Process your pain.

Find a safe space where you can write, talk, and share your experience as a Black person in America. A space where you are FREE to breathe and be vulnerable during these times.

 (Your mental health is important) and processing all that’s happening is essential! If there is no space available. Create and invent it like we do everything else.)

4.     End relationships/friendships with individuals who don’t value your Blackness.

There is only room for allies. Black folk included.

5.     Take time to honor those we lost.

At any time, it can be one of us. Uplifting them in spirit by speaking their name, protesting, and educating others helps keep their memory alive. They did not die in vain. #BlackLivesMatter

6.     Remember IT IS OK to NOT BE OK!

Black people are already resilient. We don’t always have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Take some time to be still. Once you understand that you reclaim your power! And we as a people are powerful never let anyone tell you different.

Mental Note Writing Activity: How has your mental health been impacted by the recent violence towards Black people? How are you maintaining/coping through these experiences?

Note: Please leave words of encouragement for your brothers and sisters to uplift their spirits during this difficult time.