31 Ways to Cope
In the last two years I have embraced my pursuit of developing an abundance of self-love, prioritized my healing and discovered additional and intentional ways to mentally, physically, professionally and spiritually self- improve.
This journey has been long, challenging, emotional and fun but most importantly rewarding! How satisfying it is to know that through trial and exploring new people, places, things and activities that I would find joy and peace within myself and in my coping.
Mental Note: According to Wikipedia “Coping” means to invest one’s own conscious effort, to solve personal and interpersonal problems in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict.
As a therapist, in almost every session and discussion around mental health there was a recurring theme that individuals rarely engaged in or possessed any healthy coping skills. As I started to have this discussion outside of the office, I noticed among my peers that there was not much discussion around healthy coping either.
So you know me, I had to ask questions to develop a sense of what was going on and why coping was not a talked-about thing. People generally answered that they did not have the knowledge, time, finances or capacity to do so. I emphasized with them dearly, in the regards that life is busy and we don’t always prioritize our mental health like we should. Oh but we will because here at Mental Note by Imani Tawfiq we are normalizing healthy coping and healing for our community.
In an effort to normalize coping and develop healthy ways to cope, I decided to first experiment with myself. I started an experiment called “My Inner Child,” which between the months of June and July I listed notes of potentially joyous places, things and people who I wanted to experience. I then made a Mental Note that if it brought me joy and peace I would add it to the toolbox of Rasheeda’s positive coping skills.
“My Inner Child” originated from me wanting to engage in activities that would bring me fun and adventure. I did not want to hold on to any hesitation or fears and simply wanted to discover different methods to help deal with my daily stressors, past traumas as well as maintain my well-being. This idea allowed me to tap into new feelings and step outside of my comfort and safe zones. It also allowed me to show up as my authentic, brave, and vulnerable self (similar to how I was as a child) before the judgment of others clouded part of my decisions.
This adventure was fun. So let me share it with you.
I purchased roller skates with the hopes of skating around the block! I need some knee pads y’all!
I rode my bike for 18 miles from my home to the sunset at the beach (such a surreal and peaceful experience).
I signed up for swim class. I can now swim, jump off boats with no floaties and float in style.
I created a fun music playlist that allowed me to dance in the mirror (music and dance is therapeutic ).
I went to the library and read children’s books. This allowed me to tap into my imagination.
I visited a jazz bar and sang old-school music with the wise folks.
I cooked a meal from scratch with my mom to strengthen our bond (the food was delicious and I learned things about her I had never known. She’s funny as heck).
I watched Dave Chapelles’ comedy special to elicit laughter.
I took myself on a movie date to see Space Jam: A New Legacy. Space Jam was one of my favorite childhood movies. 90’s babies know.
I took some yoga and meditation classes.
I engaged in a lot of self -reflection writing, physical working out, and assertive expression in therapy (which is still one of the best things to ever happen to me)!
I took myself on an ice cream date (Butter Pecan for the win).
I visited a historical museum of the Black Panther Party, tried new foods and traveled to new locations.
I completed a hike and meditated at its peak.
I wrote a letter to my brothers expressing my love and admiration for them (I wrote one to myself too)!
This experiment of finding different methods to cope through my Inner Child was well worth the experience. It taught me to embrace new experiences and ideas and try things that can improve my mood and well-being. Surprisingly, every activity except skating are tangible tools to use on days when I will need them most. Who wants to buy my skates? :)
Those were 15 ways that have helped me positively cope. Here are 16 additional ways that may help you.
16) Connect to supportive and genuine people (Talk, hug, and love. Please allow yourself to give and receive healthy love. I REPEAT. PLEASE ALLOW YOURSELF TO GIVE AND RECEIVE HEALTHY LOVE).
17) Explore healthy hobbies and activities (thrifting, weight lifting, or baking/cooking).
18) Write down positive affirmations/positive self-talk.
19) Set a personal short-term goal and work on it daily.
20) Re-organize your space.
21) Create art (music, dance, drawings, paintings).
22) Read your favorite book/inspirational reads. I am currently recommending “From the Inside Out” by Brandon Scott.
23) Get adequate sleep.
24) Engage in social activities (book clubs, workout groups, poetry, and comedy lounges).
25) Plan a self-care date (preferably Sunday to reset for the new week ahead).
26) Take a walk in nature.
27) Be still (disconnect from everything).
28) Meditate and stretch.
29) Eat nutritious balanced meals.
30) Journal and/or write. I am recommending utilizing Writing Wednesday prompts with Mental Note By Imani Tawfiq.
31) Therapy, Therapy, Therapy.
31 Ways to Cope are suggestions that I am offering through my personal experience. It’s essential to ask yourself “what is it that I need that will help me in my quest to discover and build my coping tool box?”
Here are five Mental Notes to consider:
1. Coping skills are personal.
What works for others may not work for you. That is ok. Keep exploring different things until it feels good to you.
2. Coping skills are affordable or free.
Some of the things that will bring you the most peace and joy will be free. Discover and tap into those coping skills first.
3. Balance what’s important.
If your mental health is important, create a balance. As much time you put into work or outside things please put the same or more into yourself and healing.
4. Tap into your inner child.
A friend once said “maybe life is not meant to be figured out. Maybe it’s meant to just be lived”. Remember to live and enjoy life with some of the joys as a child would.
5. Therapy is an essential coping skill.
Not only is therapy a positive coping skill, if you are having difficulties finding ways to cope utilize your therapist as a guide, support, and a safe space to navigate through your experiences. Trust me.
Comment below a list 5 things you can do to add to your list of healthy coping skills to improve your mental and emotional well-being. Then, apply them regularly!