Love Yours

How often do we compare ourselves to others thinking that we’ll never be equivalent to their beauty or statuesque?

Downing ourselves and doing anything to be enough for everybody else except for ourselves. When we wake up in the morning we are the first person we see. And when we see that person looking back at us we need to feel nothing but greatness. Not, “damn I wish I didn’t ‘such and such’.”

When we see other we need to be able to see that we are adequate and express admiration towards those particular characteristics. Oftentimes we display amounts of jealousy because we feel like those higher on the hierarchical ladder are the acceptable standard and because we aren’t on that ladder then we aren’t enough and dammit yes we are.

I think we begin to think that the more money and status and better looks someone has the more we begin to look at them with jealousy. I grew up thinking I was less than others because I was often bigger and taller and that wasn’t the desired look. I was so depressed. Negative self-talks and thoughts were my best friend.

I was often sad and felt so insecure but you always kept a smile so that no one noticed. Someone I thought I was in love with (jokes) told me he didn’t like me because I was fat and I was messed up from that point. That’s all I thought about. I was paranoid thinking people were looking at my weight. I didn’t want to go anywhere with my friends, especially shopping. I found myself trying all the diets and try-it’s but nothing was working.

I remember begging God to make me skinny so I could be happy! This continued all the way through high school. My mom would always tell me that I had to tell myself that I was good enough in order to feel good enough and that as long as I was worried about what somebody else thought, then I was gonna always be unhappy.

Took me a minute to understand that.

I got tired of being sad so I had to tell myself positive affirmations daily. The more you tell yourself something the more you start to believe it.

So I kept telling myself, “I was hot shit” and before I knew it, I felt in my heart that I was hot shit and couldn’t nobody tell me nothing!! I stopped comparing myself to others and looked to myself for validation and happiness because those things come from within. You never know how you impact another’s life as well.

When I started loving myself and making changes for myself to make myself feel good and not please others, I felt a shift in my life. Someone once told me, “when I met you, I was at a low point in my life but watching and being around you really taught me how to love myself and that was the first time I truly felt happy.”

We gotta learn to not self-compare but self-love and love with compassion, not love with jealousy or envy for self or others. This world thrives off of self-hate. Once we begin to love ourselves and truly find happiness, your light will be illuminating! Without even knowing, sometimes your light can brighten the dimmed light of others.

Be yourself, love yourself. Truthfully and wholeheartedly.