The Art of War
It has been a minute since I’ve sat down and allowed my thoughts to just flow. Four months and 21 days exactly it has been since I’ve been consistent with this platform I created in sharing a blog or writing about mental health.
“Rasheeda, what’s good?” I ask myself. “Rasheeda, get your head back in the game,” is what they say! But truth is, life is continuing to happen all around me and sometimes the most difficult thing in the world for me to do are the things I know I could be doing even when it appears to others that I am doing everything I can.
In 2020, I accomplished the following…
1) I created Mental Note by Imani Tawfiq; a platform to promote mental health by sharing my personal experiences. I also collaborated with an organization to provide healing spaces for individuals impacted by incarceration, a goal I achieved to prioritize healing in myself and others.
2) I was able to continue to work in my purpose, provide my love and commitment to people who in some capacity trusted me and counted on me as an essential worker during a pandemic. I also reached my savings goal.
3) I traveled in and out the country for an entire month creating new experiences with people I hold dear to my heart. Travel is important because it always brings out a different kind of joy. I get to dance all night, share my life with strangers, eat cultured foods and take really cool pictures.
4) My results from my mammogram came back breast cancer free!
5) I got to experience love with my best friend.
These experiences kept me going while keeping me grounded, humbled, and thankful. However, amidst those handful of experiences at times I still felt as if I was not doing enough.
The last four months and 21 days, I have been extremely hard on myself.
Some days I felt I was reaching goals way too fast and on other days I could barely get out of the bed to comb my hair. A pandemic was still happening, people in my community were still being murdered by men who look like them as well as by police who gave an oath to protect and serve and my family was still being victimized by an oppressive judicial system (Justice for Omar).
Everyday I went to work I was reminded that no matter how much I contributed and put forth an effort to make a change with my clients, I could however not take away their pain or traumatic experiences, which heavily impacted my mental health.
Therefore, I had check in with my mood and behaviors:
Depression- feelings of sadness or loss of interest in things. Symptoms include changes in sleep, appetite, loss of pleasure in activities, irritability, decreased energy level, difficulty concentration, and social isolation.
Anxiety- overwhelming stress from the impact of an event. Symptoms include lack of concentration, racing and unwanted thoughts, excessive worry, fear, and insomnia.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)- difficulty recovering from a traumatic event. Symptoms include nightmares, anxiety, mistrust, loss or interest in things/people, guilt, fear, depressed moods, and emotional detachment.
It’s safe to say that while I was “functioning,” still I was enduring a war on my mental health at the same damn time.
The beauty in this struggle is that my self-awareness allowed me to sit in my depressed, anxious, and stressed moods, leading me to embrace the negative in what was occurring. I did not want to rush out of it. I needed to experience what I never wanted to feel again (at least any time soon).
So I sulked in my emotions for about a week or so until I came back to myself. I then reached out to people I trusted who I knew would speak life back into me. I made sure I sat alone in the sun to appreciate all of God’s creations around me literally from the rising of the sun. I listened to the sound of the waves and watched how the trees breathed in the flow of the wind.
I had worked overtime and closely with my therapist processing all that I had been through this year, acknowledging all that I had overcome.
The last adventure I embarked on was bungee jumping! Some called it crazy and some called it brave. But for me, it was a moment to reclaim my power and to let go of all the worries the year had brought, which provided for me a moment of clarity, allowing me to feel totally free. During my jump I had to remind myself to give myself grace further enabling me to reflect on all the good I had accomplished.
“Rasheeda, you are doing more than enough!”
As I sit back and scroll down my social media, “people watch” at the beach, and recall the discussions with my clients, I make a mental note to myself:
“I wonder how much of ourselves could improve if we lived in the moment, normalized pacing ourselves and our goals, spoke our truth or became vulnerable when we needed it, personalized and practiced coping skills and seeked therapeutic support to find ways to maintain our mental and emotional well-being. I also wonder how much of our mental health could be improved if we only gave ourselves grace.”
Below are Mental Notes on how you can also improve your mood and mental health.
Mental Note:
1) Remember who you are and whose you are.
You are somebody. You have purpose and your life matters. Remembering who you and whose you are can improve your mood! ( Ex: I am her. I am powerful. God got me!)
2) Pace yourself.
Allow others to influence you but please don’t allow them to rush you. If you remind yourself to live life and accomplish goals at your pace you are less likely to experience anxiety, stress, and depression. It’s your life, live it on your terms.
3) Normalize peace over productivity.
Always feeling the need to be productive is a trauma response. It is perfectly fine to set aside days where you focus on your mental and emotional well-being. You have to take care of what takes care of you and that requires a level of peace. Go walk in nature, listen to music with no words, meditate, cut your phone off, be around people whose energy make you feel at home, people who ignites love and fire in your soul.
4) Healing starts with you.
The rule here is simple. In order to heal in any capacity you have to address what your challenges are. This is not easy but when you are ready you will know. Healing is a process and there are resources available (YOU ARE NOT ALONE). Please remember you are responsible for your healing.
5) Extend grace to yourself.
You are doing what you can do considering the worldly challenges you are up against daily. Yet, you still get up each day to face the world. Show grace to yourself and compassion as this will be essential to getting you through.
6) THE ART OF WAR.
Maintaining and improving your mental health can be a battle. However, there is always beauty in the struggle. The ability to navigate through your struggle shows resilience, power, and your willingness to want more. You are a piece of art, continue to fight for the peace and freedom of your mind, body, and spirit.
Comment below: How will you show grace to yourself in an effort to improve your mental health?